Rates (including VAT)

• Single session: € 180,- 
• 5 sessions: € 880,-
• 9 sessions: € 1.500,-

With modest discounts, I encourage you to consider a trajectory. Sometimes, you'll be doing yourself and your loved ones a favor the opportunity a series of sessions brings.

Self-acceptance | Sexuality | Intimacy | Merging | Separation | Avoidance | Playfulness | Dependence | Autonomy Conflicts | Violence | Growth | Communication Change | Children | Illness Addiction | Gender Identity | Sex | Attachment | LGBTQI+ | Drama Triangle

Toni Herbine-Blank developed Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO).

Nina van der Hoek invited me to her Introductory IFIO training, and I was sold. What a helpful way to understand ourselves in our relationships with significant Other(s). Toni Herbine-Blank translated IFS to relationships: intimacy from the inside out. Crucial is that IFIO sees our Self as our primary attachment figure, and the significant Other(s) as loving secondary attachment figures.

With IFIO, she laid a foundation to approach relationships in a very practical, manageable, and deepening way as an opportunity for growth and healing, both for yourself and for those you love.

In the sessions, the focus is on exploring our early relational wounds. When we were little, significant Others were essential for our sheer survival. Now, we can turn to our Self as our  attachment figure. From the secure attachment with our Self, we can (learn to) connect with the Other(s).

Through this exploration, you create the possibility for connection here and now. With IFIO, you work both individually and in relation to each other.

Feel welcome in any phase of your relationship or friendship:

• At the beginning: to consciously create a loving life together
• In the middle: in the midst of your issues
• At the end? If you want to explore what is (no longer) possible

Growing and Healing

IFIO supports you in growing and healing together. You will discover how to feel supported by your Self and by your loved one(s) or friends (m, f, x). This way, you become less entangled in the dynamics you might already know so well and may have become patterns you find hard to escape.

Co-regulation

We offer so much to Others when we are willing to turn inward in each other’s presence. Witnessing each other’s processes creates a deep connection. Together, you will gain experience in cultivating curiosity about each other. You will discover how our individual processes can lead to conflict: that you speak from the parts of you that are affected, rather than for those parts, causing harm and pain to each other.

However, everything in you softens when you see what motivates the significant Other to act as they do and what moves you when that happens. This allows you to handle the tensions, the sudden distance, the missteps, and perhaps the intensity in your relationship. You will find that all parts of you, and those of your significant Other(s), will be welcome. This requires slowing down and learning to engage in courageous conversations together.

Safe Environment for Significant and Intimate Relationships

I am here to support you in recognizing and acknowledging your own protective parts in the presence of your significant Other(s). When we interact from our protectors with the protectors of the Other(s), our connection becomes disrupted.

Our protectors have good reasons to take the microphone or grab the steering wheel. They might do this clumsily and unknowingly, but their intentions are always positive. By better understanding their intentions, their reactivity can decrease. It’s quite simple: when you feel heard, there is no need to shout. In this way, we can learn new skills in listening to and speaking with each other. This makes it easier for our interactions to be guided by love, both for ourselves and for the significant Other(s).

Trust - Rupture - Repair

One thing we know for sure: in relationships, there will always be issues. Sometimes small, and sometimes grand. We move from trust, to 'ouch', to healing the wound so we can be in trust again. This dynamic never stops. However, we become more skillful and knowledgeable in navigating our relationships with more Self-leadership. You will experience a more authentic flow with each other.

Duration and costs

A relationship session takes 90 minutes (max. 2 hours) and costs € 180,-. 

Online and in Rotterdam

These sessions work well online.

You are also welcome in Rotterdam, Wijnhaven 36.

10 minute walk from Station Blaak